Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
