Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
