oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
