no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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