I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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