I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
