it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
