Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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