dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
