if you like me you must not know who I am
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
