I am puke
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize