why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
