Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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