physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
