I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
