I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.