woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
