You smell like a Billy Joel song
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
