Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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