I don't think brook has ever known best
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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