he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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