white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude