What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
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My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
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You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!