I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
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He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
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Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER