You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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