Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised