Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.