Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.

Fav 18 4858 790
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.

Fav 9 881 2757
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.

(1-631): View more from New York

I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.

Fav 50 7675 2286
share tweet
(318): View more from Louisiana

Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.

Fav 15 3785 975
share tweet
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(281): View more from Texas

I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.

Fav 13 3390 1141
share tweet
(352): View more from Florida

Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.

(352): View more from Florida

And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.

Fav 8 5416 1463
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich

Fav 14 6524 1592
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(614): View more from Ohio

I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.

(614): View more from Ohio

That d should have definitely been an s.

Fav 9 1489 1016
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?

Fav 1 15 45
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT