so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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