youre lurking in front of me
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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