I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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