Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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