i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
