never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize