matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
