is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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