I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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