my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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