While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
