I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize