Define "chronic" masturbator.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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