everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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