does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
