i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
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We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize