it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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