At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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