smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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