I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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