I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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