Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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