the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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