come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
