Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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