no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
