Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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