Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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