We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
