I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
love makes seman taste better
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
