There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize