I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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