ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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