I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
