Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Do vagina's smell?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
