yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
