There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
