He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
