apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
