Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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