Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
