the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
pray to the hookup gods
I am naked and annoyed.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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