So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
