last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Randomize
