I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Rumble strips road head = magical
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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