Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
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Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
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It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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