she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
