I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
