I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I woke up under a house in Key West
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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